Monday 8 July 2019


I am a routine type of person. This means that whenever I spend an extended number of days apart from my usual schedule, coming out of it leaves me feeling a void, making me somewhat ungrounded. Add to the fact that my relationship with my mommy (who left London a couple of days back) is dangerously codependent. She is undoubtedly one of my life's pillar and her leaving after weeks of celebration made me feeling in a rut. If you think I am used to the airport scene having spent half a decade on my own in Europe, let me tell you a grim news: it doesn't get better. Goodbyes, at least for me, are always throat-lumping, tear-inducing, bloody difficult.

Yet, life must go on.

While I'd like to spend the rest of my days under the duvet, being sedentary and watch the world go by, it's probably not a good idea so I came up with these things:

1. I gave myself a break. I've spent my weekend doing what my lazy heart desires. This involves lots of YouTube watching, social media scrolling and indulgent treats. I managed to stick with my intermittent fasting though. There's no point in forcing myself (at some point) to be the most productive version of me when I'm processing some sort of grief. Once I feel that I'm ready to get up literally and figuratively, I slowly incorporated usual things in my schedule.

2. I exercised. This may feel such a bumper sticker cliche but this helped me a lot. As nostalgic as I'd like to be, our moods are directly linked to chemicals in our body. I'm sure by now we know that exercise releases happy hormones and while this is the last thing I want my butt to do, I did it yesterday anyway. I am glad I did. It's nothing crazy, just 30-minute of cardio and some upper body exercises. After shower, voila, runners high!

3. I went back to healthier eating habits. The week/s leading towards our civil wedding ceremony meant several moments of eating and drinking in between. Most foods were indulgent but there is no tinge of regret on our part. However, after the fact, I know I need to go back to my intermittent fasting and healthier eating habits. 'Healthier' means still having my favourite cinnamon social but keeping it to a minimum. It may sometimes mean choosing no-meat meals every now and then while still enjoying a burger when I feel like it.

4. I am planning ahead. Let's face it, coming out of a rut means healthily distracting yourself. Now that our wedding civil ceremony is over, the next big thing is our formal wedding ceremony summer of 2020. Also, there's a bank holiday this August and I am eyeing on visiting Cornwall. Five hours of train ride from London to St. Ives puts me off a bit but let's see.

5. I tidied our space. Still in the spirit of decluttering and healthy distractions, I turned on my Spotify and played some jazz music while tidying the flat. Also, I am thinking of printing some of our photos and hang them on our walls. 

Bonus: I explored my local area. This is completely serendipitous but I discovered an authentic Japanese shop in Central London and I'm over the moon! For so long, I am planning to make a homemade miso soup but I don't want to buy commercial miso mixes. Not anymore because I got an authentic miso paste and sea weed from the same shop. Guess what I had for lunch? Miso soup with mushroom, greens, sea weeds and egg.

I can say I'm feeling better now and things are looking upward. As with anything in life, we may not control what the world throws our way but we definitely have the power on how we react to those proverbial lemons 🍋. -CMK

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