Tuesday 2 November 2021

Four Ways To Remember A Lost Loved One

It's no surprise that so many grievers are self-conscious about retaining relationships with their lost loved ones beyond a set period of time, given decades of grief theory that centred on closure, acceptance, and moving on. The Continuing Bonds Theory of Grief was discussed a few weeks ago. If you read the post, you should be aware that when it comes to the grief concept, the times are changing. Many people today think that healthy sorrow entails developing a new and different relationship with the person who has passed away. If you missed it, you can find it here.

Photo by Mike from Pexels

If you're a fan of the Continuing Relationships Theory (which we know a lot of you are! ), you might be seeking ways to strengthen your bonds with a loved one. We have some suggestions here, and we hope you will leave a remark if you have any more. Some of these may be things you hadn't considered, while others may be things you already do but assumed signified your grieving was unhealthy or that you weren't 'moving on' as quickly as you should. In any case, we hope that some of the suggestions on our list may be useful to you.

Talk To Them

Really! It's all right; you're not insane! The fact that we don't have an article about this perplexes me because talking to a deceased loved one is something we all do, something many grievers do, and it may provide a great deal of comfort during those times when you miss them the most. So chat to your loved one - whether out loud or in your brain, this is a popular technique to maintain a relationship.

Think About The Advice They Would Offer You

Consider what they would say to you if you were faced with a difficult decision. You could possibly look at cemetery benches and sit close by to their resting place while you talk to them. Many people find this helpful.  Big decisions can be difficult to make, especially when you have lost contact with the person with whom you would have discussed them. Imagining a conversation with them, what they could have said, and the advice they might have provided, might help us feel more connected and make major life decisions simpler.

Finish Something They Were Working On

Consider picking up where they left off on a project around the house, a piece of artwork, a team they managed, or a volunteer initiative they were involved in. This can help you learn new things about your loved ones, maintain your current relationship with them, and carry on their legacy.

Talk To New People About Them

There will inevitably be new and essential persons in your life who are unfamiliar with your loved one. It could be new friends, a significant other, or children who never met your loved one while they were still living.

Find ways to tell new people about your loved one, sharing stories or photos.  This is a way that your loved one’s legacy continues and you continue to keep them in your life as you move forward.   In case you thought it was easy, you can read about my experience with new friends after the death of my dad here.

These are four great ways that you can remember a missed loved one. Do you have any others that could help? Please share some of them in the comments below. 


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