Wednesday, 16 October 2019

ON WHY FAILURE MAKES SUCCESS SWEETER WHEN IT COMES

I would love to share all the highlight reels of my life but I think I would be doing everyone a disservice if I conveniently hide my failures (and eventually learnings) behind the crevices. It's human nature, isn't it? To flaunt our highs and conceal our lows. However, it's during the lows that our character is honed. What do you do if the answer is no? What's next? How do you deal with the failure when the world decided to spin as normal and you don't feel like your happy self anymore? I decided to publish a post that's not as easy as my capsule wardrobe or my favourite beauty products posts because as much as we want all things fluffy and pretty, there is a pressing need to confront these difficult issues such as dealing with failures.

My visa journey
When you decide to live in a country that's different to yours (especially if you're coming from the other side of the globe), sorting your visa is a given. I made some decision last year (2018), trusted some people (who in the end didn't care enough about me) and my worst fear happened, my visa got denied. I'd be honest, I am not confronted with failures that often. This puts me in such a disadvantage because when it hits me, I don't know how to react. I recall I was numb when I got the decision, I bawled my eyes out and called B (he is like a family to me) and then told the news to Gab and mommy. I was like a zombie that time - feeling nothing and functioning in an autopilot mode. 

October 2019
After discussing options with Gab a few weeks prior (he's so helpful and patient, bless him!), I decided to apply for another type of visa. I can't tell you how nervous I was and to make things worse, I chose a wrong option when filling in the online form! And as if that's not nerve wracking enough, we realised the fact that my situation was not straight forward. Thankfully, Home Office on the phone was very helpful and calm. That definitely helped. Last but not the least, my friend L was a huge encouragement. She gladly offered me tips as she went through a similar process. One Friday, I got an email from the Home Office. With my heart racing out of my chest and shaky fingers, I opened the PDF file and read the words: "I am pleased to inform you that your application has been successful..." I was ecstatic!

In hindsight, I think failure makes success sweeter because of this simple reason: you know how it feels on the 'other' side. It can be work, family, relationship or anything close to your heart. I noticed that I appreciate triumph on a whole new level when I had experienced a set back before. What to do if the prospect of failure is eating you up? It may be cliche but I'd say process all the feelings and then get up and try again. I read it once and this resonated on me real deep: "When you stop trying, you stop living." -CMK
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